7:50 A.M. I hear the nurses voice, "She needs to take these when she wakes up." she is saying. "Ok" my parents reply. I try to open my eyes, but they feel as though someone took a 5 pound weight and tied it to both my eyelids.
7:52 A.M. I force my eyes open and the first thing I see is my parents, my mom says "Hi there! How are you feeling?" I don't quite process her words… I sigh, "Can we tape my eyes open?" my parents laugh, "The nurse said to take this medicine." mom says.
7:54 A.M. The nurse walks in, "Ok sweetie, your need to take you medicine, what would you like with it. Crackers?", "yes please" I reply.
7:56 A.M. I take my pill, and begin to munch on my crackers… in a very odd and childish way due to the meds, "These crackers taste funny…" I say after eating a couple. My mom and dad both take small bites, "Oh gross!" mom says, "You're right!" my mom calls the nurse in and tells her that there is something wrong with them.
7:58 A.M. The nurse returns with graham crackers, my favorite, I begin to munch happily on them, drink some more water… and say, "I want to leave now."
8:00 My mom begins to help me dress, but to my mom's chagrin, I brought the wrong pair of sweat pants, and I am already in both my medical boots, my sweat pants have elastic at the feet. we force them halfway on, but can't get them over the boots. The nurse comes in, "Should I get some scrubs?" she asks, "Yes." my mom replies.
8:06 A.M. The nurse walks in with and mens XXL pair of scrubs, they still don't fit over my boots… the nurse pulls out a scissors… "We'll cut them." She says.
8:08 A.M. My pants are on, I am being rolled down the hallway to a door that leads to my car, that will take me home, my dad gets out of the car and picks me up and sets me in the back seat. I spread out on the seat with my blanket and my pillow. I begin to feel sick, "Great." I think.
9:00 A.M. we pull into the driveway. I get out of the car, I cant feel my feet, I walk on my crutches to the stairs, "I can do this," I say to my parents, "Just give me a sec."… I attempt to walk up the stairs… Very bad idea.
9:02 A.M. My dad carries me up the stairs to my room, lies me down on my bed, I fall asleep
11:00 A.M. I wake up, and my mom comes in, "would you like some pancakes?", I say yes, my dad brings me 2 pancakes and some bacon "Here you go hun!" I begin to eat.
11:25 A.M. I fall asleep.
11:50 A.M. I wake up, update my Facebook status. My parents come in and talk to me for a little bit.
12:00 P.M. I fall asleep.
12:30 P.M. I wake up and my parents come in to check on me. I am uncomfortable lying on my back but there is no other way to do it. I have to go to the bathroom…. but I can't walk, my dad carries me and puts me down.
12:45 P.M. after going to the bathroom and snacking on crackers and talking to my parents they leave so I can go back to sleep.
12:50 P.M. I look down at my feet… I begin to cry… I fall asleep.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
The Nightmare
4:45 A.M. I wake up on Tuesday, March 15th. I shower, brush my teeth, and am careful not to swallow any liquids or toothpaste.
5:15 A.M. my big sister, my hero, hands me a letter before I get into the car with my pillow and blanket, "Don't read it 'til you are on the road…" she says… Fair enough. I have a feeling it will make me cry, and I don't want to…not yet.
5:30 A.M. I gather up my wits and open her letter, the first thing I read, "Psalm 61". The last things I read, "Everyone is in your life for a reason…You are so strong…I love you".
5:35 A.M. I begin to cry.
6:00 A.M. my parents and I walk into the surgical center…forced to wait in the waiting room, not having eaten for a while… I stare at the vending machine. "delightful" I think.
6:15 A.M. the nurse calls me to come with her, behind those doors that are only intimidating when you are a patient, I am forced to go with her by myself, without my parents, the first time in my life I have been scared to leave them in a hospital.
6:30 A.M. I'm lying in a roller bed, in a hospital gown to big that countless people have worn before, (but I tried not to think about that) my parents come back to see me, I begin to panic.
6:35 A.M. the nurse tells me to relax and she ties a rubber band around my upper arm so she can get a better shot at the vein she will insert my IV into.
6:36 A.M. I see the needle… I look at my dad, I take his hand, and start to cry, I feel a prick, cry even harder, squeeze my dad's hand as I hear his soothing voice say "You're OK, every thing's gonna be fine." I feign a smile.
6:37 A.M. I turn to my mom sitting on my other side, "See this tube?" she says as she points to my IV, "Once that liquid gets into your blood stream you're not going to be scared anymore." She smiles.
6:38 A.M. the nurse comes in and injects some medicine into my IV.
6:39 A.M. the Anesthesiologist comes in and walks me through the process, "Awe hunny. Don't cry! Everything is gonna be alright, you are in good hands." she says, "I am going to tell you what we are going to do before your surgery, but you won't remember any of this, in a few minutes you are going to be out. We are going to take you back to the OR…" she continues to tell me more about the process.
6:45 A.M. the doctor's intern comes in and marks my legs in an unfriendly way she says the doctor will be in shortly.
6:50 A.M. I begin to feel very fuzzy and light headed, the doctor comes in and asks if I am ready, I am not sure what my reply was.
6:55 A.M. My last medicine was injected a few minutes ago, I turn to my parents, I feel them squeeze my hand, and my mom says "I love you." I smile.
6:57 A.M. Blackout.
5:15 A.M. my big sister, my hero, hands me a letter before I get into the car with my pillow and blanket, "Don't read it 'til you are on the road…" she says… Fair enough. I have a feeling it will make me cry, and I don't want to…not yet.
5:30 A.M. I gather up my wits and open her letter, the first thing I read, "Psalm 61". The last things I read, "Everyone is in your life for a reason…You are so strong…I love you".
5:35 A.M. I begin to cry.
6:00 A.M. my parents and I walk into the surgical center…forced to wait in the waiting room, not having eaten for a while… I stare at the vending machine. "delightful" I think.
6:15 A.M. the nurse calls me to come with her, behind those doors that are only intimidating when you are a patient, I am forced to go with her by myself, without my parents, the first time in my life I have been scared to leave them in a hospital.
6:30 A.M. I'm lying in a roller bed, in a hospital gown to big that countless people have worn before, (but I tried not to think about that) my parents come back to see me, I begin to panic.
6:35 A.M. the nurse tells me to relax and she ties a rubber band around my upper arm so she can get a better shot at the vein she will insert my IV into.
6:36 A.M. I see the needle… I look at my dad, I take his hand, and start to cry, I feel a prick, cry even harder, squeeze my dad's hand as I hear his soothing voice say "You're OK, every thing's gonna be fine." I feign a smile.
6:37 A.M. I turn to my mom sitting on my other side, "See this tube?" she says as she points to my IV, "Once that liquid gets into your blood stream you're not going to be scared anymore." She smiles.
6:38 A.M. the nurse comes in and injects some medicine into my IV.
6:39 A.M. the Anesthesiologist comes in and walks me through the process, "Awe hunny. Don't cry! Everything is gonna be alright, you are in good hands." she says, "I am going to tell you what we are going to do before your surgery, but you won't remember any of this, in a few minutes you are going to be out. We are going to take you back to the OR…" she continues to tell me more about the process.
6:45 A.M. the doctor's intern comes in and marks my legs in an unfriendly way she says the doctor will be in shortly.
6:50 A.M. I begin to feel very fuzzy and light headed, the doctor comes in and asks if I am ready, I am not sure what my reply was.
6:55 A.M. My last medicine was injected a few minutes ago, I turn to my parents, I feel them squeeze my hand, and my mom says "I love you." I smile.
6:57 A.M. Blackout.
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